Chronic Illness x Self Love | In Collaboration with @theendojournal
By Isabella Gosling
Self-love is hard when society and media are constantly reinforcing ideals around body size, beauty and aesthetics. When you have a chronic illness, self-love is even harder. You constantly feel let down by your body, or anxious for when your next flare will be, or why can’t it be ‘normal’? This is compounded by the visual reminders too. Scars. Stretchmarks. Scald marks. Reminding us of the pain our bodies have been through.
However, what if we decided to show our bodies kindness, and grace instead and even though it’s hard, worked at actively accepting them, celebrating them and being proud of them for carrying us through each day? This is what we hoped to achieve with fourteen incredible women for our QENDO x The Endo Journal Self-Love Shoot as part of April for Adeno. We are so thankful to HARA the Label for their generosity and support, as well as to our incredible photographer Ellamay Fitzgerald and Madeleine from Wild Fleur Co. for all the florals.
Read on to find out about the vulnerability, power and importance of this shoot, and what it means for those who took part on the day.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
L-R: Georgia, Bree, Hayley, Madeleine, Emily, Bel, Emily, Isabella, Maddie, Sunita, Monique + Angelica
It was initially Georgia from The Endo Journal who had the idea for the project to begin with. She had a vision to get a group of people who live with endometriosis, adenomyosis and chronic pain together for an empowering and vulnerable photoshoot. When talking about what she wanted from the shoot Georgia said “Embracing our bodies for what they are, how they’ve carried us through our journeys and connecting people from all walks of chronic pain life”.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
L-R: Isabella, Emily, Monique, Madeleine, Georgia, Ash + Hayley
We were so privileged to have renowned photographer and resident artist at Mint Art House, Burleigh Heads, Ellamay Fitzgerald lead the project, add to the vision and create these beautiful, raw images for our campaign.
BTS: Ellamay Fitzgerald photographing
photography credit: Lucy Moore
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
L-R: Chie, Angelica, Sunita, Maddie, Bel + Bree
For Bel she found it both nervous and exciting to participate in the shoot, as it was something outside of her comfort zone. “Having daily pelvic pain that has impacted every aspect of my life for over 10 years I wanted to share and show, especially to my daughters, that every body is beautiful, regardless of difference in appearances. Endo can affect anybody, so women need to support, encourage and be kind to one another” she said. When speaking on her relationship with her body and chronic illness Bel spoke of the difficulty around having endo, and how she is unable to live her life who she would like to, however she also spoke of how blessed she was to have two healthy children as a result of medical science. Bel feels most self-love when she’s in front of her daughters, so they can be confident women.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
L-R: Ash, Isabella, Bree, Sunita, Chie, Emily, Bel, Hayley, Maddie, Monique, Emily, Madeleine, Georgia + Angelica
Sunita, who also took part in the day shared the complex relationship she has with her body. “It’s 100% love hate relationship. Over the last year I have had more bad days than good. So it was amazing to meet women going through the same situation and hyping each other up to appreciate our bodies no matter what”.
She hopes that these images help to spread the word and go around social media to show “Just how beautiful everyone is, and how amazing this community is”.
Sunita feels the most self-love when there’s no flare and her pain is under a 5.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
L - R: Madeleine, Maddie, Sunita, Angelica, Georgia, Emily, Chie + Emily
Going into the shoot Hayley was a little nervous, not to strip down to underwear and get in front of a camera, but to meet and talk with others who get what she’s going through. When speaking on what she hoped to gain from the shoot Hayley said “Connection, understanding and a little extra self-love to take home”. She felt it was important to take part in the project because “being a body on film and for someone else to look at the images and say ‘hey, she’s like me, if she can be confident and love herself, then I can too’”.
Hayley’s relationship with her body is “a constant love / hate”. Some days she feels like a badass, beautiful and confident despite chronic pain. “Other days I criticise everything, especially when I can’t physically do something I want to due to pain or lack of energy”.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
Ash was feeling excited, but also a little nervous prior to the shoot however she said she’s “gained a new found respect for her body and what it actually can do, because it isn’t very often you want to show the world your scars, your insecurities” She also found herself admiring the other women. “They have their own stories and scars and it was so uplifting to be around such amazing women”.
Ash feels the most self love when she is able to get out of bed, is pain and sickness free - knowing that she can try to have the best day she can, every day. When asked about what she hopes others gain from these images she said “Not everything has to be perfect to be beautiful”.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
Chie has lived with chronic pain for nearly two decades, after a fourteen year journey to reach diagnosis, and as such it has affected all aspects of her life. Chie spoke of the heartbreaking losses and painful surgeries, however she also mentioned how grateful she was to have such an amazing support system and medical team. When talking on self love, Chie feels it most when “I’m eating well, sleeping well, drinking tonnes of water and being consistent with my exercise routine. I also love doing a 10 step skincare routine, dancing and yoga #YEDD”!
When others are looking at the images she hopes people take it as “A reminder to be kinder to yourself. Do your research, advocate for your own health and don’t be afraid to reach out for support. No matter the outcome of your endometriosis journey, a fulfilling life is yours for the taking”.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
“I was quite nervous as I have a lot of social anxiety, but feel as though I was able to manage that well after being so warmly welcomed by everyone there. Knowing we are all suffering from the same illness was at the forefront of my mind throughout the day” said Madeleine who participated in the day. She left feeling “completely overwhelmed but full of love and happiness at the same time. It was such an overload of emotions. Such positivity in that room”.
Madeleine thought it was important for her to take part in this project so she could represent her chronic pain through the art of flowers and tell her story in a unique way. “Working in the flower industry allows me to use my creative outlet as a form of therapy for my endometriosis. Although it’s taxing on my body, it gets me through some of the hardest times”.
When talking about her relationship with her body, Madeleine said “It’s growing stronger day by day. The community we have is is amazing and as this community grows larger I feel myself becoming more confident and able to tackle this disease without feeling so alone”. Madeleine feels most self love when she’s able to enjoy her morning, afternoon or evening predominately pain free. “Sipping a cup of tea or going for a hot yoga session simply to enjoy those moments, rather than as a pain remedy. Being content at home, on the couch, pup and partner snuggled in and indulging in a movie or TV shows”. expressed Madeleine.
Madeleine hope that others can see how this disease affects women physically and emotionally. “Some pain you can see on the outside and some you can’t. I hope these images shed more light of the endo battle that we struggle with every single day”.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
Bree who also took part in the shoot said she felt super nervous to be in front of the camera and also to meet all the other ladies! “That quickly changed though when I realised I was surrounded by a supportive and beautiful group of women” she said. Bree also said that she hoped to gain a little more self-confidence for herself, but also to benefit from connecting with other women who were going through the same problems.
Her reason for taking place in the day centred around “Embracing our unique and beautiful bodies and to practice self love” she said. Bree would describe her own relationship with her body as “A constant war, torn between feeling sorry for myself and then being strong and gritting my teeth and just getting through it”. However, she feels most self love when “I look after my body or my mind by doing something relaxing / something I enjoy!”. She hopes others gain a sense of self love and appreciation for their bodies from these images.
photography credit: Ellamay Fitzgerald
We hope this collection of images prompts you to show yourself more love, gratitude and acceptance, and know that you are #stillworthy, despite your chronic illness.
