Mindset and Endo: Leanne's Story
By Leanne Webber
It all started when I was 11 and I thought I'd been drinking too much hot chocolate when I got my period because I didn't even know what a period was! The cramps started all the way back then too!
I used to wear 3 pads because I was too nervous and embarrassed to change throughout the day at school as I was the only one of my friends that had their period at 13.
Throughout high school I lost count of how many times I leaked onto my school uniform and all my friends knew what "can you check?" involved (hint: it was a quick glance at my skirt while I ever so inconspicuously turned around so they could see the back of me).
Since then I've left halfway through gym classes, hens parties, networking events and work (or cancelled them altogether) because my pain and fatigue is so bad. My hot water bottle is my best friend even when it's a balmy 33 degrees in Queensland. The only clothes I buy now are potato sack style dresses to accomodate my constantly bloated stomach.
The thing is, I thought all of this was normal, so? I put up with it and took ALL of the Naprogesic I could.
Then in July 2017 I had excruciating period pain when I went to the bathroom at work (who else has cried in their work bathrooms?! 🙋🏽♀️) so naturally I googled it. It was only then, at age 27, that I came across Endometriosis.
The more I researched, the more I was convinced I had Endo. But still, I just kept pushing through it. I constantly felt like a failure because I couldn’t keep up with the old me that worked 80 hour weeks. I’ve put on so much weight because I rarely have the energy to workout. I feel like I’m constantly letting people down. It’s all been a HUGE mindset challenge for me.
From that moment in the work bathrooms in July 2017, it took me two years to see a gyno.
Why? Because I thought I'd be told I don't have endo and then...
I'd feel silly for complaining and...
Imagine all the people that do have endo and...
Their pain would be worse than mine and...
I'll have to keep plodding along, wishing away the 5-14 days of fatigue and/or pain every month and....
You get the idea.
Until one day the pain was so bad that I vomited. Only then did I decide that enough is enough.
That was in June 2019.
From there I saw a general gyno who was so reassuring and positive that I ended up having a laparoscopy only to be told it was too bad for him to remove any and I'd have to have another lap with an excision specialist.
Hang on, WHAT!? All that pain and recovery to have no relief whatsoever?!
So, here I am now. Deciding when I'm going to fit in another surgery as a small business owner, no team to rely on and customers to support.
Since surgery, I have been focusing a lot on my mindset and health. I've been taking note of when I feel good and pushing myself during those times so that I am able to rest in the times I'm not so well. As I own a business, I am lucky enough to set my own hours most of the time - this is such a game changer for me. I’ve been planning everything around my cycle and not comparing my progress to others that are able to hustle consistently.
I made the decision that even though it’s somewhat taboo to discuss periods, I’m going to share my experience anyway. The more we talk about it, the more we can help others and the more people without endo will understand that it’s not just bad period pain.
I'm a big fan of practicing gratitude but whenever my period showed up I would be VERY resentful of it. So recently I’ve been practicing gratitude specifically about my period. For example, I'm so grateful I have access to pain killers, hot water bottles and ceiling fans/aircon (when I need to use the hot water bottle in summer). I'm grateful for the times I have a tonne of energy and can get things done. I'm grateful for my husband and my amazing customers who are so kind, helpful and understanding.
I've also been focusing on what I eat - cutting out inflammatory foods as much as possible and eating foods that combat inflammation (hello turmeric!).
I only recently discovered QENDO and wish I had read all the content prior to having a diagnostic laparoscopy. That's why I'm incredibly excited to be a new volunteer!
Sending you all of the pain free days,
Leanne x
Want to share your endo, adeno or PCOS journey and help others? Want to share your experience of a particular treatment or therapy that has helped you on your journey? Do you have a spouse or friend with endo, adeno or PCOS and want to provide some perspective on how those without the condition can help those suffering with it? We want to hear from you! Email blog@qendo.org.au
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