Meet Our QENDO Ambassadors: Monique Murphy
By Monique Murphy
Monique Murphy is an Australian Paralympic Swimmer and Rio 2016 Silver Medallist. In March of 2014, after a suspected spiked drink Monique fell from a 5th floor balcony. Along with numerous injuries and surgeries Monique’s right leg was ultimately amputated below the knee. The trauma of his event is suspected to be the trigger of Monique’s Endometriosis. In this blog she shares her endometriosis story and how the QENDO community has helped her feel less lost and alone.
I tuned and pushed off into the second 200m of the race. My stroke felt disconnected. My arms were so painful they were tingling. My back was cramping and I could feel the nerve pain down into my foot. Id been training so well in the lead up to this race and now I felt no connection to my body. It wasn’t the body I’d been preparing to race. My competition kept pulling ahead and I was losing focus. When I hit the wall I was crushed, but turning round in the water and seeing my time, 6 seconds over my personal best was the devastating blow that hurt more than the race. I had no words or no explanation for what had happened, simply I had no idea. Well, I had some idea. My period had started unexpectedly and lasted over a week longer than normal. I had a constant upset stomach regardless of what I ate, and every stroke I took felt like it was weighted. I was constantly exhausted despite lightening up training in the lead up to competition. But as the team doctor reassured me, I had to give the new pill at least 3 months to adjust and the rest was just treated with buscopan tablets.
What was most frustrating was that I had finally been able to string together a strong, consistent training block that was encouraging after a bumpy start to the year.
After returning home from the Pan Pacific Championships, I told my gynaecologist the new pill wasn’t working and by the end of the week she put in a Mirena and I packed my bags for my next competition. I raced better in Japan, although it was getting frustrating to continually perform knowing I was capable of more.
Over the next few months my periods improved but my bowel continued to be irritated which lead to a 6 week high gluten diet and endoscopy. That 6 weeks was brutal both physically and mentally. Knowing I was eating food that hurting my body and training made it hard to stay focused and continue my 2 times per day training load. After receiving an “all clear” results from the endoscopy I once again put my head down, focusing on the World Championship Qualifying Championships.
I qualified for my 5th Australian Swim Team in the 400 freestyle. Whist I was proud of this result by the end of the competition my body was once again falling apart. I was sick with a cold, handling stomach cramps, fatigue and sleepless nights. I was exhausted from feeling this way. When I landed back home in Brisbane I made an appointment to see my GP and told them I needed a referral to an endometriosis specialist. I'm not sure why I asked for endometriosis specifically but the word had been thrown around and I figured I could at least learn more about it.
Within minutes of meeting Dr Graham Tronc he told me it was endometriosis. As it is triggered by stress it was pretty easy to assume that my accident where I lost my right leg below the knee in 2014 was the culprit. Tronc told me I needed to be formally diagnosed with a laparoscopy. Since losing my leg in 2014 I'd had upwards of 15 surgeries and another one wasn’t going to fit in with World Championships in September. I was scared to book the surgery fearing they might not find anything. What if this was all in my head? What if this is what hard work felt like? Maybe this is what it took to be the best and I just wasn’t strong enough.
The decisions wasn’t entirely mine either. I had to discuss the situation with my coach, team head coaches, and manager, all of whom are men. It's not easy to explain a situation you don’t fully understand to men who have no personal experience with female health - not that they can help that.
The focus in the pool is always the Olympic/Paralympic Games. Tokyo 2020 was my goal. The sooner I could get the surgery would be better for my health and give me the most recovery time before Tokyo. I was still hesitant. It felt like a risk and I was scared.
The day of the laparoscopy my mum had travelled up from Sydney to be with me. Returning to the hospital after the experience of my accident in 2014 is never easy for either of us, but it was easier with her there.
When I awoke I felt the size of a balloon. The anaesthetist came over singing out my name
‘Monique, it's all good! We found it and its gone now’
‘I had endo?’
‘Yep, we got it’
I cried in relief. Worried I was in pain the doctor asked if I was ok.
I was now.
When mum was allowed in to see me I said ‘It wasn’t all in my head’ she held my hand and said ‘of course it wasn’t’
I wish I could say everything magically returned to normal after that. Recovery was one of the toughest I’ve done, and I’ve been in a position where I’ve had to learnt to walk again. I was back swimming 2 weeks after and placed 4th at the 2019 World Championships, the first time since 2015 I’ve missed the podium. Managing endo and mild adenomyosis as well as training as an elite athlete do not go hand in hand at the best of times. However finally having an answer has been the most reassuring thing. I know that when I’m in pain I need to look after myself and I’m taking steps to reduce stress and develop a healthier living environment. The women I’ve met who have lived with endometriosis have been the greatest support and the QENDO community has provided such love that I no longer feel lost or alone. I’ve begun training with my first female coach helping me feel more supported and understood. I still have my sights firmly set on Tokyo 2020, and although I still have rough days I’m getting stronger.
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