A Very QENDO Christmas
By Dannielle Stewart
So, how long have you had your Christmas decorations up?
Christmas in 2020 looks a little different. While Australians certainly have cause to celebrate after getting through tough lockdowns, being separated from family and friends in other states and overseas, and coming to terms with the brave new world of 2020, it’s still a bittersweet finale. As I write this from lockdown in the south of England, watching the rest of team QENDO start to enjoy the fruits of a job well done, I reflect on something that so many of us know to be true. Life in lockdown can seem a lot like life with endo, adeno, or PCOS, for some 2020 has meant others finally seeing what it is like to live with an illness that at times leaves you unable to leave your home, unable to get groceries, unable to function in the workplace, and shunning social events, holidays and time with friends. So dear spoonies, we see you, we support you, and this Christmas we’re providing you with some of our favourite tips from team QENDO for living your best Christmas life.
The Busy Season
Christmas and the holidays can be stressful, even more so after a year where one has constantly had to adapt and change. Perhaps your Christmas is a little more low key this year, or maybe the chance to see friends and family from who you’ve been separated is adding that extra pressure. Stress can be a major trigger for pain and flare ups, and it’s important to prioritise your health. Here are team QENDO’s top stress busting tips for the holidays
Prioritise: It’s okay to decline invitations, set boundaries on your time and energy, and ask for help when you’re stressed
Online shopping: whether it’s gifts or groceries, save your spoons and avoid the stress and rush of the suburban shopping centre. Even more so in this, the year of social distancing. Shopping online for gifts also opens up more opportunities to support some of your favourite local businesses or small businesses who may be doing it tough this year.
Delegate: if you’re holding a gathering (depending on your location, make sure you comply with any local guidelines and restrictions), ask your guests to bring a signature dish, a favourite board game, or a movie for the kids. This can help share the load of the day without feeling guilty about asking for help.
Self Care and Management: remember to utilise the strategies in your toolkit. Keep appointments, make time to exercise, book in some you time (give yourself the gift of self care!), and stick to a routine that works for you.
Ask for help and support: reach out to supportive friends and family, look at the resources at qendo.org.au/blog and on the QENDO App, or call our on call support worker on 1800 ASK QENDO. Our support team will be working through Christmas and New Year and are always ready to support you.
Festive Food
Say it with me: your chronic illness is not your fault. If you eat a mince pie because the smell was just too good to say no to and later on have a flare, that flare is not your fault. You’re allowed to enjoy food, you’re allowed to treat yourself, and no one should make you feel bad about it. Likewise, if you’re abstaining from a particular kind of food that you know is a trigger for you, don’t let comments from relatives or friends pressure you. You know what’s right for your body. Team QENDO’s top festive food tips:
Talk to a Pro: it’s okay to treat yourself and indulge in those Christmas treats, but if you want some advice about how you can support your body and manage symptoms (treats and all), seeing an Endo-friendly dietitian or nutritionist can be a great place to start. Develop a plan and strategies you can use throughout the festive season.
Stay hydrated, especially if you’re consuming alcohol. It can be so easy to forget to drink a glass of water when you’re busy. Fill a water bottle and make hydration a priority
Don’t feel pressured to eat known trigger foods for you just because it’s the holidays. Your nan might be misty eyed as she holds out that plate of gluten rich mince pies, but if you know that eating that tart will trigger painful bloating, nausea or cramps, it’s not worth it! Set boundaries for yourself and ask family members to respect them.
BYO: if you’re going to a gathering and are worried about what’s being served, offer to bring something. You’ll have something endo friendly to eat, and avoid awkward conversations with your host where you ask for every ingredient in that gingerbread cheesecake to make sure it’s not hiding a sneaky trigger ingredient.
Conversations With Friends
It’s not just a Sally Rooney novel, seeing friends and family can be for some both the best and worst part of the holiday season when you’re chronically ill. Despite our best efforts, sometimes friends and family just don’t understand the mental labour of coping with endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS and infertility. They don’t understand that Christmas lunch can be mentally and physically draining, or that you can’t pencil a flare up in between Sunday Mimosas and Wednesday night spin class. For those who have friends and family who are supportive and accommodating, we know how much of a difference it can make to how we manage our conditions, especially during the holidays. Sometimes it’s the smallest things: a thoughtless comment about when you and your partner are planning to conceive, when you’ve been trying for months; a glib remark about what a picky eater you are for saying no to some of the dishes on the table or someone asking if you should really be eating or drinking that if you have endo. Other times it seems much bigger and you can feel isolated, alone, even around people, knowing that they see you but they don’t really understand what’s happening. We see you.
You can’t make them understand, but you can care for your own mental and physical health, and do what’s right for you. Engage in self care, organise get togethers with the people in your life who are supportive and positive, and talk to those who do understand. Surround yourself with people who are good for your mental health. QENDO volunteer Caitlyn says. “endo is one part of our lives but not the sum of all we are”, remember to reflect on and celebrate your other achievements in 2020, even if your major achievement is making it to the end and still being able to smile about something. Maybe you discovered a great new Netflix series (or five), were inspired to take up a new hobby, or explored your own backyard closer to home this year. It’s easy think that every part of 2020 was awful, but try and find something positive to reflect on, even if it’s small. Find your win.
Take care of yourself, enjoy time with the people you love, and enjoy the festive season. The team at QENDO wishes you a happy and healthy holiday season, and can’t wait to share with you our exciting plans for 2021!
The QENDO Support Line is open for Christmas and New Years! Our on call support workers are available throughout the holiday season. Call 1800 ASK QENDO to talk with a trained support worker if you need support for yourself or someone you know living with endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS, infertility or pelvic pain.
The materials available on or through the website qendo.org.au [‘QENDO’] are an information source only. Information provided by QENDO does not constitute medical advice and should not be relied upon to diagnose or treat any medical condition.To the maximum extent permitted by law, all contributors of QENDO make no statement, representation, or warranty about the quality, accuracy, context, completeness, availability or suitability for any purpose of, and you should not rely on, any materials available on or through the website qendo.org.au. QENDO disclaims, to the maximum extent permitted by law, all responsibility and all liability (including without limitation, liability in negligence) for all expenses, losses, damages and costs you or any other person might incur for any reason including as a result of the materials available on or through this website being in any way inaccurate, out of context, incomplete, unavailable, not up to date or unsuitable for any purpose.
